What does it mean to give and to receive? Is it like gift giving? When I first heard of this, I immediately thought of the holidays, but these actions extend beyond material items. To look out and see how our lives are created and formed over time, leads us into a glimpse of how we choose to view life and how we live it. The things in our life that we truly care about are where we give our effort and time, but this often intersects with the opportunities we have to create meaningful relationships and connections with others. Over the years, I have begun to learn how our worth and position in the world, should never be solely defined by others. We are worthy because of our unique identities, personality, skills and passion for life, NOT solely by the actions or treatment that others express towards us. When we put time, effort, and compassion towards the things in our life that matter to us, we give our full attention and heart to it. The drive, passion, and positive energy is what motivates us to continue and build the layers of trust, kindness, and support. If we do not receive this in return, we often begin to question and blame ourselves for the lack of reciprocal action. Why do we automatically place this negativity on ourselves, and yet continue to give more and more? We convince ourselves that if we give more, there may be greater affirmation but this leads us into a harmful path of distrust, doubt and need for validation. Why do we put ourselves in this position, when we are just setting ourselves up for waves of feelings and questions? This is a question that has always been on my mind, yet never leaves because when we become to develop emotional connection or feelings we are unable to give that person or item up.
These feelings may not be what most people experience, but if you ever feel this way you are not alone. Prioritize your own needs and self-worth, because the people that truly care and want to be a part of your life will make the effort to stay. I understand if there are hundreds of thoughts and questions running through your head right now, and that is okay. It is frightening to either confront yourself and how you feel, or find a way to pick yourself back up during difficult times. Putting yourself and your goals first is the most important, but I want you to be conscious of the people that are by your side at all times. There may be times where you want to build up barriers and push those experiences away, but keep in mind the people that are there to break those walls down and walk you through the rubble.
Have you ever had moments in your life, where you give something your everything and then receive nothing in return? Whether it is a friendship, relationship or life experience, these moments can impact our self-image or self-worth. It was a few weeks ago, when I saw this important quote: “Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them”. Giving people in your life a chance to change, is a chance to take a step back and think. Once you give those chances, it is ultimately up to them to take action and make a choice. If the circumstance does not work in the way you hoped, please remember that you are not at fault. There are a multitude of layers that could be driving forces in the level of giving and receiving, that you experience from certain people. It can be a challenge to separate yourself from the situation and move along, but you only deserve the best.
I’ve felt moments of failure, confusion and doubt, but these experiences have made me reflect on my feelings and personal choices. Who is worth the time and effort? What do they mean to you in your life, and what kind of impact does their presence mean to you? I believe that every person I meet is for a reason, and whether they choose to stay or leave is up to time and fate. There may be people in your life that stay for a month, a year, or forever but there is purpose to their presence and reasoning for why they are a part of your personal life adventure.
As I get older and begin to understand more about the world around me, I strongly believe in being kind to everyone and anyone, because it is important to shed light every day. Be kind to yourself and ensure that your happiness is not compromised or taken away, due to the impacts of other people. YOU are the one to decide how much time, feelings, and kindness you give to a person, because YOU matter.
Sending sunshine your way,